


COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS (A Malec tale about selfless love and hot tears)

by LoverOfWriting



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3 chapters + bonus fiction, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Malec, More agnst, Probably the less fluffy Christmas tale you will ever read, love and angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-12 23:57:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16881708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoverOfWriting/pseuds/LoverOfWriting
Summary: Magnus is expecting to spend his first Christmas with Alec as an officially established couple.But something is off with his young Shadowhunter.Magnus won't stop until he finds out.But... will he arrive on time?





	1. The changes.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DutchMalec](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DutchMalec/gifts).



> Hi, loves. Many of you know that this incoming Christmas, the first one without my mom, won't be a happy time for me. This is the reason why I'm finding hard to write pure, unaldultered fluff. Angsty stuff keep coming to my mind, and when a story gets rooted in my imagination, I need to get it out.
> 
> So I apologize in advance, if this story is not what you expected from me, but I do hope that you'll give me the benefit of the doubt and stay with me until the end.
> 
> I'll be posting a new, short chapter every Thursday until Christmas. Then, if you still want me to, a bonus chapter, hopefully making it up to you for the all impending angst.
> 
> And be merciful... this hasn't been betaed, because my dearest Nath is overworking herself with exams at Uni and I wouldn't charge her with more work for the world!
> 
> P.S. I want to dedicate this little thing to my dearest parabatai, whose birthday was some weeks ago and I didn't get to make her a proper gift. I know she's all for fluff right now, and I hope she forgives me for this *hides her face*. Love you, Karin!

 

10 nights to Christmas’ Eve.

Something wrong was happening to Alec.

In the surface, the young shadowhunter seemed to be the same. Grumpy when it came to Clary or her friend Simon, supportive of his parabatai, mother and his sister, self-assured when it came to running the Institute. Amorous to his boyfriend.

Yet Magnus could tell.

Alec was not ok.

It had all begun on December 14st’s night, the warlock reflected in retrospective, after the gang fought and defeated a powerful horde of unknown demons. Alec had come back home outwardly unharmed but extremely tired. Now that he was Head of the NY Institute, he didn’t usually go down to the field to fight, but this time they had needed all hands on deck, since the demons had spread all over the city and nobody knew exactly how to destroy them. Magnus would gladly have helped them, Alec knew, but there had been no time to consult with him.

But the shadowhunters did it on their own fashion.

The city was safe now, with barely a couple of shadowhunters injured. It had gone well.

Magnus waited until the next day to ask Alec what had happened, but his boyfriend, still fatigued despite the night’s sleep, was evasive about the details, and Magnus, always considerate, didn’t push the issue.

Then Alec went back to work, and Magnus dedicated his day to plan the fabulous party that they were hosting at Christmas’ Eve at his loft.

Magnus knew that shadowhunters didn’t celebrate mundane festivities, but Alec’s family and friends had agreed to the warlock’s proposal, always up for a party.

This time, Magnus had a real reason to be truly excited.

It would be their first Christmas as a couple.

 

 

 

9 days to Christmas’ Eve

It was snowing heavily outside, and Magnus heard, relieved, the main door opening, announcing that Alec had come finally home. It was late by the young warrior’s standards, now that he was in an administrative post and not in those rotating shifts that could keep him away for a whole day.

He waltzed into his boyfriend’s presence with a glass in his hand.

“Hi, love. What took you so long?” He grinned at him, offering the beverage. “I thought you could use a warm drink, after walking home all the way from the Institute. Did you eat anything?”

Alec took the glass and smiled at its warmth.

“We had a meeting, a tedious but necessary thing about new safety protocols. And yes, we had some sandwiches at the meeting. What is this?” He took a sip and hummed, clicking his tongue at the tang of the liquid.

“My especial grog.” Magnus explained. “Just how you like it. Hot and spicy.”

Alec savored the liquor, took another, bigger sip, and set the glass on a table nearby. Then he enclosed Magnus’ waist between his long arms.

“Do you know what else I like hot and spicy?” He whispered, with a wide smile on his pink lips.

Magnus pretended to ponder about it, while Alec nuzzled at his tanned throat.

“I guess you’ll have to illuminate me, darling.” He eventually said, his hands sneaking inside Alec’s shirt. He shivered at how cold Alec felt. He dragged his boyfriend to the couch, near the fire. “Come on, let’s get you warmer.”

“It’ snowing really hard tonight.” Alec reckoned with a sigh. “I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather lately. I might be catching a cold.”

“Hm. Don’t you shadowhunters have iraztes to heal anything?” Magnus covered Alec with a soft blanket, and got himself under it, plastered to his young lover, who hugged him immediately.

Alec shrugged.

“I’ve always used those runes for something really important, like healing demon wounds. For a simple cold… I think I’d just have an Advil. Tomorrow I’ll be fine.”

Magnus pressed his lips to Alec’s chin.

“I was planning to make you feel warmer, anyway.”

Alec chuckled.

“Oh? How so?”

Magnus’s hands began to unbutton his boyfriend’s shirt, while his lips slid towards his lover’s earlobe.

“You know, some extremely sensitive parts of the male body, when applied a modicum of magic, can become a delicious source of heat. For example…” He sucked on the shadowhunter’s earlobe, and got a sigh from Alec.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” His boyfriend whispered, unzipping Magnus’ trousers.

“Oh? Then I guess I’ll have to give you some evidence.”

“ _Lots_ of evidence, Magnus. I’m a very skeptical man.” Alec joked, his fingers teasing at the soft flesh above the warlock’s underwear’s waistband.

Magnus straddled him and smirked.

“Oh, darling, you know how much I love a challenge!”

Alec melted into the kiss, letting Magnus’ tongue explore avidly into the warm cavern behind the shadowhunter’s lips, whining when the warlock’s wicked mouth sucked his own tongue. He held on his boyfriend, suddenly dizzy.

“Ma… Magnus.” He broke the kiss, breathing with difficulty.

“Mmm?” The warlock looked at him with pupils fully cat-like, his control already gone.

He didn’t need to have any control, after all, because Alec loved his real eyes. Actually, Alec usually got quite turned on when he saw his true self.

And Magnus wanted to get Alec tuned on as much as he, Magnus, could accomplish.

“Are you ok, Alexander?” Magnus sat up straighter on his lover’s lap, caressing Alec’s cheek.

“No… yes! I just needed to breath.” Alec apologized, diving in for another kiss.

Which he ended soon as well, breathless again.

“All right.” Magnus frowned a bit. “Shall we stop? We can cuddle before going to bed, if you prefer it.”

“No! Please, keep… warming me.” Alec smiled at him. “Maybe you could just kiss me in some other places?”

Magnus arched an eyebrow.

“Naughty!” He laughed, delighted. “I love it when you get suggestive, Alexander.”

“I love that you love it, Magnus.”

Magnus sighed, looking at him in awe.

“I love _you.”_

“As I love you.” Alec stroked the tanned cheek, fondly. He kissed the warlock sweetly, then, winking, motioned him to get under the blanket.

“Your wish is my command, Alexander!” Magnus complied happily.

Fortunately, Alec was so large that he had a lot of places where he could be kissed.

And Magnus knew every each of them, and how to make them respond to his magic.

He trailed his lips all over his young shadowhunter’s torso, the darkness under the blanket making it all more stimulating, with only his other senses to help him excite Alec.

Because Alec did need some exciting, apparently.

Which was strange in itself, because there was no way that, given how Magnus sucked and played with Alec’s usually perky nipples, the shadowhunter would stay passive.

He should be squirming by now, uttering those little, hungry sounds that appealed Magnus so much.

The warlock scrambles upward, freeing his head from the blanket, his hair a mess, his lips swollen by all the kissing…

Only to find Alec in a sleepy haze, looking at him with half-closed eyes, his mouth slack, his arms heavy at his sides.

“Alec! Are you all right?” Magnus instantly sobered up.

Alec nodded slightly.

“Tired… I’m just tired and cold, Magnus. I’m sorry. Maybe I should draw that iratze after all.”

“Please, do it. Or I could get you a truck of Advils, if you prefer it.”

Alec smiled softly and shook his head.

“I better go to bed now. I’m so sorry to leave you like this, Magnus. Can we continue tomorrow?”

“Of course, love. Don’t worry about me. I just want you to be fine.”

Alec kissed the warlock goodnight and went to sleep.

Another restless night for him, actually.

As it was for Magnus.

 

 

8 days to Christmas’ Eve

The next night, it was pretty much the same, even thought Alec had only been in a boring budget meeting. He claimed to have made himself spent while training with Jace.

Magnus tried to talk to him about that weird fatigue, but Alec just dismissed his concerns, saying that the shadowhunters were working hard to get rid of as many demons as they could before the mundane festivities arrived.

Watching Alec exhaust himself to sleep made Magnus felt useless, like a caged animal, but still he respected Alec’s wishes.

He poured all his pent-up energy into organizing the party, driving crazy cooks and florists, shop assistants and decorators.

 

 

 

7 days to Christmas’ Eve

The following night, when it supposedly began Alec’s day off, Magnus had it all planned. He wanted to make Alec feel good, so he ran him a hot bath, bubbling with that sandalwood bath essence that his young boyfriend was so fond of. A splendid supper was to be conjured after Alec had soaked in the relaxing water, the dining room all set with candles and flowers.

Because Alec, after all, had turned out to be a man of flowers. Red peonies, of them all. Go figure.

The loft was already crammed with Christmas’ decorations, a beautiful huge tree brimming with garlands and shiny, glittering ornaments presiding over the room.

Alec froze at the sight, dropping his jacket over the couch’s arm unceremoniously.

“Is today an especial occasion?”He frowned in surprise. He didn’t seem thrilled at all.

“You’ve been overworking yourself lately, darling.” Magnus explained, nonplussed. Alec never looked down to a nice dinner. “I thought that you could do a relaxing bath and after dinner some non-relaxing exercising.” He winked playfully.

“Yeah, well…” Alec scratched his neck, scrunching his nose. “I’m really tired, Magnus. We’re running ourselves ragged at the Institute, trying to locate which hell those demons came from.”

“I could lend you a hand, you know.”

Alec sighed, letting himself sit heavily on the couch.

“After you gained your powers back, and so much more powerfully, the Clave is hesitant about turning to you for anything. They want the shadow world to believe that we shadowhunters are still a force to reckon, capable of defending everybody without warlock magic. It’s stupid, I know, but the Consul issued an order not to run to any magic creature for help.”

Magnus frowned, reining his anger in.

“When did you learn about that order?” He asked in a cold voice. God, he hoped that Alec wasn’t hiding stuff like that again from him.

Like he did in the past, causing their painful breakup.

“They sent the fire message only a couple of hours ago.” Alec told him in honesty, looking at him straight in the eye. “Jace, Izzy and I have been trying since to figure out how to get around the order so we can come to you and avoid the penalties that the Clave would impose on us otherwise. Not lucky about that yet, I’m afraid.”

Magnus melted, smiling fondly. Alec would never lie to him again.

_His honest Alexander._

“Come on, then. Let’s get you into that bath.” He took his boyfriend’s hand, hauling him to his feet. “Shall I rub your back?” He winked.

Alec smiled.

“I’d appreciate that. You know, there’s this spot on my lower back that I can’t reach properly…”

Magnus chuckled, eyeing Alec’s long arms.

“If you say so, darling. I think I know exactly which point you’re referring to.”

He pulled Alec closed for a kiss, and the younger man hummed in appreciation.

Magnus divested him with care and delicacy, sharing pecks and touches across that splendid runed body, making Alec giggle at times.

“Aren’t you coming in with me?” Alec entered the hot water with closed eyes and leant back on the tube, savoring the feeling.

Magnus watched him with open eyes, savoring the view. He denied with his head, then realized that Alec couldn’t see him.

“I’ve been prettying myself up for you this whole evening, my dear. Getting in there with you would only ruin this!” He signaled his own body, with a smirk.

Alec cracked one eye open.

“I don’t know, Magnus. I’m wasted. If you came into the water, I might even respect you.”           

Magnus huffed, hiding a laugh.

“You have _ever_ been able of _respecting_ me when we’re been in such a close space, darling. You can’t keep your hands off me.”

“Can you blame me?” Alec opened both eyes now and ogled the warlock fully. “Damn, you’re so hot!”

Magnus turned his back to him to take his jacket off and roll his sleeves up. He didn’t want his see-through sparkling green shirt to get wet.

When he turned again towards Alec, the young shadowhunter had closed his eyes again and let his head hang over the edge of the bathtub.

Oh, the sight.

Alec lay there, completely still, the foam surrounding his pale upper body, conferring him the ethereal aspect of a beautiful merman.

Of course, Magnus thought, there wasn’t any merman in the world as beautiful as Alec. And he could tell, because he had known lots of those at one point in his long life. He had never felt any lust towards the sea people, thought. The smell … ugh.

Alec, however… Alec, he would lust after for an eternity.

He knelt beside the tub, grabbing the sponge, his mind playing different naughty ways of reaching to that spot that Alec had mentioned before.

“Alexander, love,” he whispered into Alec’s ear.”Move so I can rub your back.”

No answer.

The warlock nipped at the tender earlobe at his reach. That never failed to _move_ Alec.

No response, however.

Magnus straightened his back so he could take a look at Alec’s face.

“Alec?” He poked softly at the shadowhunters’ arm, and this time he got a reaction.

Alec snored.

Daintily.

But it was a snore all right. And his head lolled to one side.

Magnus’ shoulders slumped, and he sighed.

He magically took his completely asleep boyfriend out of the water, dried him up, and put him to bed.

Then he sent the delicious dinner away, his appetite suddenly lost, and poured himself a glass of brandy.

He sat on his favorite couch, with the book he had been spending the last nights with.

After downing the glass down and staring at the same page for ten minutes long without really reading any of the words, he made the bottle of liquor fly into his hands and refilled his glass.

And told his dick to shut up.

Another blue-balled night.

Yay.

 

 

 

6 days to Christmas’ Eve

Alec woke up apparently refreshed, since he got up early and went for a run, while Magnus slept his brandy-soaked sleep.

The warlock came back to life to the pleasant smell of homemade pancakes and coffee.

Alec wasn’t in the dining-room, so Magnus padded to the kitchen, feeling as if he had a drum inside his head, to find Alec wolfing down pancakes as if there wasn’t a tomorrow.

Magnus frowned. Alec always waited for him to wake up and get their breakfast together.

“Oh, finally, you’re up.” The young shadowhunter said. “Your pancakes were starting to get cold.” He pointed at a small pile of food. “Eat fast, will you? I already know what I want to do in my day off.”

Magnus sat at their kitchen table carefully.

“What’s up?” Alec looked at him across the table. “You look horrible.”

Magnus sighed. Alec had never told him he looked horrible. He liked him in every possible way, he had told Magnus so.

Maybe Magnus did look horrible, after drowning his sexual appetite in brandy last night

Maybe the novelty of him was starting to fade off on Alec.

“I have a headache.” The warlock grumbled, grabbing the coffee pot that rested on the table.

“Can you just…?” Alec swirled his fingers in front of his face. “You know, make it disappear? I do have a lot to do today. I need you to portal me to get my family’s Christmas presents. We also need new decorations for your Christmas’ Eve party. Where can I find the best ornaments? In Paris?”

“In the Internet.” Magnus retorted, taking a sip.

He was truly upset. Alec had never acted as selfishly uncaring towards him as today.

The warlock felt the urge to tell him that he’d rather stay at home, nursing his headache, instead of forcing magic inside himself to heal the pain, and spend a whole day working as his boyfriend’s bellboy and driver.

After his first cup of coffee, Magnus resigned. He magicked his headache away and got himself some pancakes.

“Attaboy.” Alec smiled, got up and patted him on the head. “I’m going to take a shower while you eat.”

And he left the kitchen, leaving a pouting Magnus alone.

“I thought that we were going to spend some quality time in the shower.” He groaned, and stuffed his mouth with food instead of that other piece of meat that he had planned to.

_Attaboy? Really, Alec?_

That was when Magnus started to think that maybe, just maybe, there could be something wrong with Alec.

 

*****

 

They cruised around the world, from portal to portal, so Alec could find nice Christmas presents for Alec’s family. The young shadowhunters came up with the strangest ideas, but when they got to the place suggested by Magnus, nothing seemed to please Alec, and he was becoming increasingly irritable.

Magnus made a good use of his wide stash of patience that day, but he also tried to observe Alec in the most objective way.

The young man was spending money (Magnus’ money at that) carelessly, buying stuff then returning it to the shops because he wasn’t satisfied.

He complained about everything.

Magnus couldn’t soothe him either. Anything he said, Alec replied brusquely.

They scarcely exchanged some chaste kisses.

That night, after eating the dinner that they couldn’t enjoy the previous night, Magnus proposed to use his expertise as a masseur to ease Alec’ tension. He almost expected a plain refusal. Again.

But then Alec agreed, and Magnus felt a prick of hope. He made Alec lie down the couch, while the massage oil appeared magically in his hands

He applied all his centuries-year-old knowledge, listening to the younger man’s body, how the warrior’s muscles felt under his painted-nailed fingers.

He knew it quite well by now. He knew that Alec’s shoulders tended to cramp due to the stress of running the Institute much more than what they did when he was just another shadowhunter on the field.

He knew that Alec loved it when the warlock racked his nails softly over the runed lower back.

He knew that Alec enjoyed that the warlock moved his hands across the fighter’s inner thighs, so he could brush but not yet touch the jewels hidden under the grey boxers.

He knew that Alec was eager to lift his hips so Magnus could slide his underwear down and expose his rear, where he would blow into his young boyfriend hole until Alec squirmed in pleasure, then Magnus would…

At that moment, Alec exploded.

“This thing about the massage was for you, right? Not for me, not really. You just wanted to put your hands on me so you can have your way with me, don’t you? You’ve been trying to have sex for days, even though I tell you that I’m exhausted and I don’t feel like being your plaything! Can’t you keep it inside your pants for a day, Magnus? Is that that much to ask for?”

Magnus was shocked. The night seemed to be looking  well until that moment. Alec had never talked to him like this before. Never been so rude. Never twisted the facts like this before.

Never…

Alec went to bed in a whirl of self-righteous dignity, leaving the warlock wondering how many “Alec had never” had Magnus realized during these last days.

Yes, definitely, something was wrong with Alec.

 

 

5 days to Christmas’ Eve

Alec wouldn’t move to another bed, but barely spent a night sleeping soundly since that day onwards, preventing thus Magnus to catch any sleep himself.

The young shadowhunter plainly refused to speak openly about it. He would even shout in anger, if pressed.

His moods and wrath bouts became unpredictable. 

Dark shadows appeared under his gorgeous hazel eyes, his lovely wide mouth became a line of perpetual disgust.

Magnus’ slight touches were rejected.

So Magnus accepted everything with a smile, unwilling to let his boyfriend know about how extremely worried he was, so he turned to his old books about magic for answers, whenever Alec wasn’t around.

It was high time to find out whether something foul was happening, because Magnus refused to believe that his wonderful Alexander was becoming some kind of harpy.

He missed Ragnor so much, in times like these. The old guy would have grumbled and protested a lot, but he would have helped Magnus to the fullest.

Magnus was a very stubbornly driven person, when the right reason came along.

He was also a very sexually frustrated warlock.

 

 

 


	2. The research

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting rough for Alec, so Magnus turns to his dearest friend for help.
> 
> Nobody wants to see the love of their life suffering, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, loves. There you have, 2nd chapter of this strange Christmas fic, where Christmas atmosphere can't be found anywhere. To those still bearing with me, I'm truly sorry for that. My mood is what it is, and it reflects on my stories. And in the quality of my writing. Ugh.
> 
> At least it's a short chapter.
> 
> Also I want to apologize for not having answered comments, as I like to do. It's not being my best time, really.
> 
> So if you are still reading, know that I appreciate it a lot.

 

 

4 days to Christmas’ Eve.

“Cat. I need your help.”

Catarina rolled her eyes, holding her phone between her ear and her shoulder while she checked on her last patient’ vitals.

“Magnus. You are aware that I’m still at the hospital, right?”

“Your shifts are crazy. You can’t expect me to keep track of them.” The High Warlock of Brooklyn dismissed the thought, impatiently. “When will you able to come to my loft?”

Cat pretended to ponder about it.

“Hm, let me see. After I catch some hours of sleep? I’ve been up for almost 36 hours now, Magnus.”

Magnus huffed in disdain.

“Fine. Call me when you can, ok?” He grumbled.

Cat stopped him from shutting the call.

“Magnus, wait. You do know my timetable, and you never call me here unless there’s something serious. What is it? Asmodeus again?”

“No, my father has been dealt with. He won’t be annoying us for some time, I hope.”

Cat noted the _us._

“It’s Alec, then.” She stated, more than asked. “I’ll be there in two hours.”

 

*****

 

“Am I losing my appeal?” Magnus shot her as soon as he opened the door to his loft. “Would anyone refuse to have sex with me?”

Cat, dressed with faded jeans and a shaggy sweater, her face lined with lack of sleep and tiredness, looked at the dolled-up warlock.

Magnus had exceeded himself. He wore a delicate-looking see-through wine-red shirt, embroidered with gold thread and black pearls as buttons. His black silk trousers marked his buttocks but made him look as if he was somewhat ethereal. His make-up was subtle but enhancing all his already gorgeous features. His hair held streaks of the same red tone than his shirt.

He looked delectable. Edible. Positively willing to do and be done sinful things.

Even for someone so used to his appearance and so little attracted to it as Catarina Loss, his long-time friend.

Who gave him her most pointed eye-roll.

“Really, Magnus? Did you really urge me to come here, forfeiting my much needed sleep, because your boyfriend won’t have sex with you?” Cat had never shouted to Magnus this loud in ages.

Magnus had the decency of sounding rueful.

“I’m going crazy, Cat. I’ve examined every magic book I possess. I’ve tried any kind of non-invasive magic in him.” He mused anyway, racking his painted-nailed fingers through his soft hair, getting it all disheveled. “I’m racking my brains trying to find some reason but I’ve come up at nothing. At first, I believed he was tired. He works so much, that I swear I sometimes want to go to that dammed church and tore it down. Nobody seems to be able to do anything without Alec to tell them what to do.”

Cat dropped her oversized bag on the floor and her own ass on the couch.

“If you want me to hear it through, you silly idiot, give me some coffee at least.” She grumbled.

Magnus flicked his fingers and a hot cup of coffee appeared in Cat’s hand. She could have done it herself but was too exhausted to use magic. While she let the coffee do its own magic, her friend told her in detail everything that he had noticed about Alec’s strange behavior.

“And there’s that night, we were kissing and… well, I was doing some other things to him… things that never fail to put him on the right mood…” Magnus explained, after all the incidents had been displayed, trying to enforce his point, pacing wildly around the sitting-room.

“Please spare me the details. I’m not you.” Cat sipped her coffee with a pleasured sigh.

Blessed be the Nature for creating coffee.

“I wasn’t going to….” Magnus shot her an indignant glance. “Anyway, there was no response from him. None at all!”

“So. He was tired. You said it yourself. The human body is not a machine. I know a thing or two about it.”

Magnus sat briskly on the chair in front of her, leaning his body forward, his eyes shining gold with his true demonic mark.

“No, you don’t get it. He… Alec…” He grunted, obviously reluctant to speak up more than Alec would have liked him to do.

Cat saw his struggle and felt a sudden rush of affection towards his passionate, foolishly in love friend. She reached out and squeezed his hand, encouraging him to say whatever he felt entitled to.

Magnus closed his eyes for a brief moment, recollecting his thoughts. When he opened them again, he had set his mind.

“Since our first night together, Alec had been very open to learn new things. He… you know I am his first, right? Alec has turned to be quite a sensual man. He loves… he loves everything we try, anything I teach him. We rarely spend a night together without doing… some kind of act. He loves having sex. With me.”

Cat bit her lips lest she showed her amusement at Magnus’ last clarifying words.

Of course Alec loved having sex with Magnus. Magnus was a god of sex.

Or a demon of sex, rather.

Anyway.

Then it dawned on her.

“Wait. Alec cannot have lost interest in having sex with you! How long have you guys been together? Like a week or so?”

“Four months.” Magnus grumbled, frowning at her.

“For us immortals, that amounts even to less.”

“Don’t rub that on me too, Cat! Anyway he’s acting as if he hated me, and everything that I do or say. And according to what his family tells me, he’s jumpy with them too.”

“I’m sorry.” She apologized absent-mindedly, her mind already working furiously. “It’s too soon to be bored with you, I agree. And that whole grumpy façade that he had when you two met disappeared from his face the moment he kissed you in front of half the Clave, that non-wedding day of his. It’s not really like him, true. When did this behavior start?”

“On the 14th. And it’s been like that every time I make any move towards him. He’s just… not interested. And he’s angry all the time.”

“Hm. What did he do that day?”

“I know he and his friends fought an especially vicious demon. But he wasn’t even seriously injured, just some scratches. Just this morning I even asked his parababore… his parabatai, I mean. Nothing seemed to have gone wrong, he told me. So I didn’t worry. If I did every time that Alec went out on the field…”

“Which one?”

“What?” Magnus felt confused after being cut off from his own agitated ramblings.

“Which demon?” Cat clarified. Her friend frowned, deep in concentration.

“I don’t know. He seemed truly upset when I asked him, so I let it go. I didn’t think it important at the time.” Magnus bit one of his knuckles. “And there’s that stupid order from the Clave that shadowhunters must try and solve their own work without resorting to magic means.” Magnus groaned.

“Can you find out?”

“What?” Magnus had zoned out for a second, pondering for the umpteenth time on how snobbish the Clave was.

“About the demon. Can you find out which demon attacked your boyfriend and his friend?”

“He’s sleeping right now. I’ll try in the morning. Not sure that I’ll be able to make him talk about it though. When I tried again the day after that, he seemed to have forgotten about the details. Which is another thing that has me worried. Alec has a perfect memory. And any time I try to bring the topic to the table, he gets angry. Angry at not remembering, at me for suggesting there’s something wrong… I tell you, this is not my Alexander!”

“Hm. Memory loss, sudden anger, sexual apathy…”

“You know what demon it was, right? Can you do something about it?”

“I need to be sure first. I need Alec to confirm my suspicion.”

“Maybe if _you_ talk to him in the morning…”

“It’ll be too late. By then I’ll be out for the day, but right now this stupendous coffee of yours has me all pumped up, so let’s find out.”

“I’m not going to wake him up!” Magnus lifted a hand, palm outwards, in a stopping motion, his lips pursed, his back tense.

“Oh? Is he a grumpy one in the mornings?” Cat teased him, trying to ease his anxiety.

“He is already been sleeping fretfully since that night. He really needs to rest! I cannot possibly wake him up just to ask him about that demon. Didn’t you listen to what I said?” Magnus narrowed his eyes to her, speaking as if to a dumb child.

“Who said anything about waking him up?” Cat gave him innocent eyes. “I just want to get the information out of him. He doesn’t need to know.”

“No. I won’t invade his mind to extract anything out of it with any nazi’s trick, do you hear me?” 

Cat got up, picking her bag up from the floor, her eyes sparkling fire.

“Ok. Call me again when he’s up. And when I am up as well. We’ll try to learn what he has buried in his mind without using any… nazi’s trick.” She spat, furious.

She stormed out of the room but was intercepted by a contrite Magnus.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!”

Cat crunched him with her angered gaze.

“I can’t believe you just called me nazi! You, of all people! After what we’ve been through all these centuries.”

“I know, and I’m so sorry!” Magnus was all but kneeling, wringing his hands, his face contorted. “It’s just that I’m so worried about Alec!”

“Worry and sadness shouldn’t be excuses to hurt those we love.” Cat said, calmer now.

Magnus hugged her.

“I hate that I did that. I know you didn’t mean it like that. And you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

Cat hugged him back. She couldn’t stay mad at her friend for long.

“Speaking of nazis, I just wanted to use that spell that we used with that German commander to get out of him the train route through which the SS were going to transport those warlock kids at the II World War. We saved the babies, remember?”

Magnus shivered in her arms.

“Those bastards wanted to experiment on them. Of course I remember. And it was a fine spell you applied with the commander, my dear!”

“We won’t really invade his mind. I’ll just unblock whatever block the demon has put in his mind. We’ll just ask him what happened. He will tell us just what he wants to tell us. We won’t force anything out of him. Is that ok with you?”

Magnus sighed. He hated to do any magic on Alec without his consent, he really did.

But he couldn’t think of anything else.

Lesser evil, right?

They entered the bedroom stealthily, guided by a weak light conjured by Magnus.

Alec was sleeping on his stomach, his strong runed back exposed, his gorgeous bottom hidden under the royal blue sheets. His sleep was restless, his legs spasmodic at times, unintelligible sounds coming out of his mouth.

Magnus’ heart constricted in sorrow at the sight of him.

_His wonderful Alexander._

Cat kneeled at his side and murmured some quiet words, her hand suspended over the mussed-haired head on the pillow, her green magic washing over the young warrior.

Alec calmed immediately.

“Are you ok, Alec?” She asked in such a very low voice that Magnus almost missed her words.

“No.” The younger man uttered, with a rasped voice, still asleep.

“What’s bothering you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is it the demon? The one you and your friends fought some days ago?”

Alec squirmed on the mattress, his face crunched.

“It… it did something.”

“What did it do? Tell us, Alec. Tell Magnus and me, please.”

Alec turned onto his back in his sleep, his big hands covering his closed eyes.

“Some spell… I never saw anything like it.”

Cat motioned Magnus to get closer and speak to his boyfriend.

“Tell us what happened, darling.” Magnus poured all his sweetness into his tone.

Alec seemed to relax at the warlock’s voice. He began talking as if he was awake, with clear but disturbed speech.

“It was the master of the other demons. I had sent patrols to contain the other attacks. We… Jace, Izzy, Clary… we tracked the demon down to a narrow alley, and there we had it surrounded. Izzy got its legs paralyzed with her whip, and Jace had stuck his seraph blade on its chest. Then the demon roared and lashed out to Clary with its tail. She fell rolling but cut the tail. Jace ran to help her up and the demon tried to strike him with a paw. I grabbed it so Jace and Clary could escape. Izzy climbed through the demon’s spiked back to its head and try to strangle it with her whip. The demon began to fall to its knees… Then from the paw I was holding, a dirty light sprang from its palm and hit me right in the chest. I fell down. The other finished the demon off and it vanished away.”

Magnus and Cat listened to the tale in silence, while the young sleeping warrior sweated and trembled at the memory.

“But you weren’t harmed.” Cat said then.

“I didn’t have any visible injury, no.”

“Why aren’t you ok, then?”

Alec seemed to consider, his eyeballs moving fast under his closed eyelids.

“The walls… The demon put walls in me.” Alec whispered at last.

“Which kind of walls?”

Alec shivered in his sleep.

“Dark, cold walls. Ice walls. I’m so cold…”

Cat sighed in sorrow.

“Do you know the name of the demon?” She asked with a thin voice.

Alec seemed to think again.

“Izzy found out. Malphas. It was called Malphas.”

Catarina closed her eyes. It was as she had guessed. Sadly.

Magnus suppressed a horrified cry at the name.

“I’m so cold…” Alec kept musing in his dream, curling up into himself.

 

2 days to Christmas’ Eve

“Phase One: Somnolence.” Catarina read aloud from a thick volume. “Phase Two: Rage.”

“There we are now.” Magnus muttered, while scanning his shelves for a rapid inventory, his frown deep and concerned.

Cat had come back at early morning, after spending two whole days searching through her books. She had even asked for a sick leave at work; she, who has never been ill in her life.

She had found the answer in one of her most ancient, forgotten tomes.

“Phase Three: Despondence.” She continued, her voice trembling. “This one is brief though. As if the cursed body couldn’t fight any longer and let itself go.”

“No pressure, eh?” Magnus took a bottle, shook it and put it b back on the shelf. “What is Phase Four?”

Cat couldn’t bring herself to look at her friend.

“Frostbite.” She said, eyes fixed on her book.

Magnus closed his eyes for a second.

“The freezing is already creeping into Alec’s body.” He mused. “I try to send tendrils of heat at him, stealthily so he won’t rebuff me, but it seems as if only the anger could keep the ice at bay. For now.”

“Alec’s body is fighting, even though his mind isn’t aware of it. In any other person, the freezing would have won by now.” Cat explained. “Alec is strong, but he won’t be able to hold for much long.”

Magnus sighed.

“I need to save him. Cat. Tell me what you have found.”

“There is only one potion that can destroy Malphas’ spell.” His friend gave him a sheet of paper with the list of ingredients and the recipe for the potion. “I’ll begin with the concoction. You have some ingredients. Now it’s up to you to acquire of the rest of the elements.”

Magnus looked at her friend’s face, tired but resolute. The dark shadows under her eyes couldn’t mask the fire of her soul. He couldn’t love her more than he did that moment.

“Cat…” He began to say, with a knot in his throat. He moved as if to hug her.

“Go.” She ordered, dismissing his tender gesture with a wave of her hands. “If the curse follows it usual path, the angry phase won’t last. And all my research says that the potion will only work during the last phase, but only at its beginning. Let’s get this done while Alec is working.”

She was probably trying to avoid him tearing up. And herself too, probably. Her dark eyes were shining with arrested tears already.

“Ok. There is stuff here that I haven’t heard of in centuries! Shreds of a banshee’s cry? What the hell does this even mean?” Magnus pored over the list. “It’s going to take me some time.”

“Then you’d better hurry. For the looks of Alec, the coldness caused by the curse is getting to his brain and enclosing his heart. There’s no way to know if the counter-spell will work if that happens. There might not be any crack in the ice for the potion to get to the heart and do its melting function.”

“I will make it work.” His friend stated, more firmly than he felt.

Cat set a hand on his arm.

“Magnus… You need to gauge exactly when to gave Alec the potion. If he drinks it when his heart is already completely frozen, don’t you touch him! The potion would bounce against the ice wall surrounding Alec’s heart, and the counter-spell will ricochet and will set your magic on fire instead.”

Magnus fixed his fiery eyes on hers. She tried to keep the stare but broke it first, with something like guilt in her eyes. Magnus thought he knew what it meant, but he wouldn’t put his friend to this test.

“I’d rather die in flames than live knowing that I couldn’t save Alexander.” He said thought. “I’ve already lost too many lovers. I won’t lose the one that will be my last one. The love of my life.”

Magnus shuddered at the thought of failure.

Of failing Alexander.

He mustn’t fail.

He wouldn’t fail.

The warlock made a portal and crossed it to get the first of the magical ingredients that he didn’t have in his shelves.

These ones would cost him some expensive favors, but hey, Alexander was worth it.

_Anything to get his Alexander back._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. I know. I'm a terrible person. Poor Alec. Poor Magnus. 
> 
> Still interested in how all this mess will wind up???


	3. The Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's the final fight. 
> 
> Magnus will try ANYTHING to defeat the curse.
> 
> Will Magnus be able to?
> 
> And how?
> 
> Will Alec survive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for not following my own schedule. I forgot I had a previous engagement for yesterday and I couldn't update as promised.
> 
> But here you are, the... last?... chapter of this the most weird Christmas fiction.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> And... Enjoy! ;-)

 

1 day to Christmas’ Eve.

Suddenly, the anger gave way to an eerie indifference, Magnus noticed.

The last phase of the spell would begin presently, then.

There was no time to lose now, he thought, watching the potion boiling at a low temperature.

It must be stirred exactly every two minutes, for three hours.

Then it should be left to rest for half a day.

And lastly, the ultimate ingredient, which Magnus felt it easy to get.

_The tears of a lover at the crack of the heart._

“The crack of the heart?” Magnus mused. “My heart is already cracking up.”

“It also might say _the crack of the night_.” Cat worried at her lower lips, rereading her ancient book. “The recipe is a bit blurred, probably because someone cried over it centuries ago. And it’s written in an ancient language of symbols that could mean different things depending on the situation. Sorry, Magnus.”

Her friend patted her hand.

“So I just need to get my tears and add them to the potion, then?”

“Do it tonight, just to be sure.”

That midnight, Magnus sat in front of his worktable and willed himself to cry, with his loyal Cat at his side.

No tear came from his eyes.

He forced his imagination to create a world without Alec.

His eyes still kept dry.

Shit.

Magnus hadn’t counted on his own expertise.

Once they learnt which demon had caused Alec’s behavior, Magnus knew that, if he gave way to his feelings, the Shadowhunter would notice his sadness and he would probably run away. That, Magnus wouldn’t have. He needed to bear anything that his love would hand him, however painful or nasty it was, until he found the cure.

So the warlock had put a time-locked spell on himself, after he learnt about the curse. About what would happen to Alec if he couldn’t free him from those ice chains that gripped the young man’s heart and mind. The spell would vanish itself after Alec had been saved.

And now that Magnus needed to concoct the potion for Alec, his own spell was working against him.

He couldn’t cry the last ingredient.

_Who was the cursed one._

He consulted with Cat, and they discussed the pros and cons of turning to another warlock. Then Cat came up with an idea. She gave him an onion and a sharp knife.

“Mince it. No magic, no glasses, no tricks. Do it the old way.”

He did.

And Magnus cried all right.

 

*****

Christmas’ Eve

Everybody wanted to be there for Alec, when Magnus tried the potion in him.

Just in case, Jace said, getting a furious nudge from Clary’s elbow.

Magnus didn’t have it in him to chastise the blonde shadowhunter. He looked like hell, to be honest.

The warlock had more than a mild idea of what Jace must be feeling, while his parabatai was turning into Jack Frost. Out of the blue, memories of Jem and Will’s relationship crossed through Magnus’ mind.

He suddenly was glad that he had put that non-cry spell on himself.

It had been Izzy, though, the one who could drag Alec back home, upon her insistence of meeting with their family for the Christmas’ Eve party that Magnus had put so much effort in arranging. Her brother, after having given most of his warriors time off for the day, had spent the whole Christmas’ Eve day looking for some demon to kill, oblivious to the words of his family, who assured him that the city was, for once, quiet and demon-ridden.

While his overly anxious boyfriend split his time between attending to the party’s numerous details, and getting the potion that, he hoped, would cure his cursed boyfriend, ready for use.

Magnus almost got in shock when he saw Alec. His boyfriend had a light blue tint on his skin that he didn’t sport when he left that early morning, and his touch felt colder than ever.

Alec had barely paid attention to anyone. As soon as the first guest (Maryse) arrived, Alec had sat in his usual place on the couch, a book in his hands, oblivious of the forced chat around him. He stood the presence of his sister but didn’t make any effort to engage in a conversation.

And his family and friends, disturbed and deadly worried, wouldn’t push him.

The party had looked more like a funeral than a celebration.

“Magnus, you need to do it now!” Maryse hissed at the warlock, her dark eyes shining with unshed tears. “My son is turning into an ice block in front of my eyes!”

“The potion is in that black bottle.” Magnus pointed at the flask with his chin surreptitiously. Not that Alec was minding him, anyway. “We need to make him drink it.”

“How much?”

“Half a cup would be enough.”

“Should be? You’re not sure?”

Magnus looked at her apologetically.

“Maryse, that Malphas demon hasn’t shown up in Earth for some centuries. Not even you shadowhunters and your wonderful White Book know a thing about it. We must be grateful that my friend Catarina found about it. But we won’t be sure if the potion will take effect until Alec drinks it.”

Now it was Maryse’s turn to look at his son’s boyfriend in apology.

“I’m sorry, Magnus. It’s just that… I’m so worried!”

Magnus patted her arm and filled a cup with the healing potion mixed with one of his cocktails.

“Have a try. You are his mother. I’m sure he will heed you.” The warlock handed the former shadowhunter the cup and observed.

Alec stared for a second at his mom and the cup she was offering, “ _just a sip so we can toast, son_ ”, and dismissed it.

Maryse left the cup on the table in front of Alec and moved away. Luke gravitated towards her, squeezing her hand when she gratefully took it.

Some minutes later, his sister came to him, a warm wind of sweetness and joy, sitting on his lap, like she used to do when they were children, wrapping his neck with a glittery garland, reaching out for the cup on the table.

Before Izzy took the cup, Alec politely set her on the floor at his feet and went back to his book, shedding the garland away.

“Can you just leave me read me book alone?” He groaned, and focused on his reading again.

Izzy looked up at him, grinding her teeth so she wouldn’t start crying, stood up in all dignity and went to where Simon sat. The vampire hugged her and she began sobbing silently on his shoulder.

Jace stared at Magnus, feeling at a loss.

“Come on, Magnus!” He urged the warlock. “He needs to drink that damn potion!”

“I know!” The older man grunted. “I thought that the female touch would help, but…”

“Let me try.” The blonde said, squaring his shoulders. “I’m his parabatai. I’ll do it.”

So he went, all fake bantering and grins. He sat next to Alec, throwing an arm around his friend’s shoulder.

“Hey, Alec. Why don’t you join us at the party? Magnus has gotten some nice food and better booze. Remember that time when you bet that you could beat me to drinks? And you passed out on the carpet and we had to get you in the shower so you would be ready for the morning meeting?”

Alec looked at him, frowning.

“You cheated.” He remembered in distaste. “You gave me the strongest drinks while you kept yourself to water in a bottle of vodka.”

Jace pouted.

“It was just a prank, Alec. You’ve always been so serious! But today’s time for fun, right? Why don’t we toast at your first Christmas with Magnus?” The blonde reached for the cup and try to give it to his friend.

“Stop!” Alec shouted, getting to his feet and slapping Jace’s hand so the cup went flying to the floor. “Everybody stop! Stop talking to me, stop trying to make me drink, stop hovering around me! I just want to be left alone, do you understand?”

Jace was on his feet quickly too, his eyes dangerously wet.

“Alec…” He tried to hug his friend, his brother, but Alec shoved his away with all his strength.

Jace fell over the Christmas tree behind him, making it crash on the floor.

The room got silent at once.

Alec stared at him, furious. He began to pace around the room.

Magnus looked, speechless, as a blue mist seemed to enshroud him.

“This stupid party… we shadowhunter don’t have time for mundane celebrations! It’s all a lie created for clueless people. But we… we know what’s real. We fight, we kill, we die. There’s no room for nice things, neither for comfort nor happiness. We are warriors, not little crying girls.” He glanced at a teary-eyed Clary, then at his sister, who has stopped sobbing and stared back at him with her usual fierceness. “I don’t have time for this.” He grabbed one of the decorative garlands attached to the walls and tore it off.

“But Alec…” His mother swallowed a sob. “What about love?”

Alec looked at her as if she was mad.

“Love? That’s the greatest lie of all.” He spat in derision, then he shivered. ““By the angel, why is this place so cold?”

He left in a whirl of blue coils, and soon the sound of water was heard.

After that, no one stayed for long. They all discussed briefly what had just happened, but really, there was only one thing left to do.

Maryse was the first in leaving, crying a river, with Luke at her heels trying to comfort her.

Jace left soon afterwards, with Clary supportively at his side. He felt completely, utterly helpless.

Izzy, the beautiful, strong Isabelle, had been the last to leave, with the now silent vampire hugging her shoulders

They all were devastated, but they trusted the warlock, they said before leaving.

All of them seemed to have lost faith though.

Magnus was their only chance to get Alec’s back.

 

*****

 

Alec came out of the stall to find a scarcely clothed, clean-faced Magnus sitting on the bathtub.

“How was your shower, darling?”

“Hm… ok, I guess. But you should check your boiler. The water wasn’t hot enough.” He rubbed the towel over his wet hair, glancing at his boyfriend, who was balancing one of his legs over the other knee, nonchalantly.

The fog that filled the bathroom contradicted his words, however.

Magnus wanted to cry. To cry real tears. But since he had a plan, and still tears eluded him, he smiled instead.

“Are you hungry? I’ve made an exquisite _filet mignon au vin_. Just the way you like it. ” He acted as if he, Magnus, had forgotten about the party and how Alec had ruined it.

Alec frowned. He shouldn’t be shocked that Magnus would want to pamper him; he did it on a daily basis. However, he felt strangely detached.

“You shouldn’t have bothered. I’ll eat whatever there is in the fridge. That is, if your friends left any of the food you bought.”

No mention of his outburst at the party. As if it hadn’t happened.

He threw the towel in the laundry basket and turned to leave the bathroom, only to find Magnus stopping him from leaving.

Magnus, with a desolated heart but smiley mask on his face, still grasping at his plan.

“Mmm.” The warlock leant in, eyes closed, seemingly smelling Alec’s clean scent under his ear shell. “I see you’ve used my new soap. Do you like it?”

Alec shrugged, feeling a bit uncomfortable at having the other man so close.

“It’s ok, I guess.” He moved Magnus to one side and stepped out of the bathroom.

Magnus pressed his lips together and forced another smile into his mouth. He wouldn’t be fazed by what he now knew it was due to a curse from that horrible demon.

_His wonderful Alexander._

“Let’s have dinner, then!” He sang.

The living room was still sporting the look of a battlefield.  Magnus had decided against cleaning it magically, since Alec didn’t pay attention to his surroundings anymore.

The warlock wanted to save all his magic for Alec.

Just in case.

Alec wolfed the meat down without uttering a word, but at least he acknowledged the meal was very good.

Then he settled in front of the huge tv set with the remote in his hand, ignoring the remnants of the party around the room.

“Let’s watch that show about the Vikings, ok?”

Magnus stepped in front of him with a cocktail glass in his hand.

“Only if you drink with me. Tomorrow you’ll have the day off and I thought we could stay up until late. If we feel like it, of course.” He added in a rush. He didn’t want his boyfriend to feel pushed and reject him again.

Besides, that cocktail contained again the healing potion.

Alec forcefully suppressed a gesture of impatience

“Again with the drinking?” He groaned.

“Humor me?” Magnus smiled, all dimples in display. “Then you can do whatever you please, and I will not bother you anymore.”

Alec sighed, but he took the cocktail. He drank it in one go.

“There. Happy? Ugh, what was this stuff? It tasted sour.” The young shadowhunter made a face and set the cup carelessly on the coffee table. “You’re losing your touch, Magnus.”

Magnus watched him eagerly, but nothing seemed to happen.

“I know you are magical, but not ethereal. I can’t see the tv through your body. Do you mind?” Alec sneered, pointing at the tv screen with the remote, and then shivered. “And set the heating higher, will you? It’s so damn cold in here!”

Magnus moved aside and sat staggering next to his boyfriend.

He didn’t understand. Usually potions worked immediately. He had followed the ancient recipe to the letter, taking extra care of all the rare ingredients. Even those damned tears had been added to the concoction.

But Alec seemed more far away from his usual self than ever.

Magnus felt that the motivation that had kept him going those last days faded away. He would keep searching, trying, reading. He would find a cure!

But in the depth of his heart, he knew that Cat and he had already exhausted most of their paths. Any other cure wouldn’t come soon enough for his boyfriend.

Hearing all the heartless remarks that Alec let out at the sight of the barbaric Vikings actions, Magnus crumbled down.

Alec could be many things, but heartless, never.

The coldness had reached Alec’s heart, apparently.

Magnus couldn’t bear it. He bent his head over his chest, the sadness flooding him like a high tide.

“Now what’s up with you?” He heard Alec’s groan. “Are you sick or what? It’s no wonder, this place is awfully cold!”

The warlock looked at him, not getting what he meant.

“Can’t you get a tissue or something?” Alec glanced away from Magnus, with a look of repulsion.

Magnus realized that he was crying. Truly crying. Tears flowed silently from his glamored eyes.

Alec hadn’t been saved, but the no-tears spell had been broken.

Magnus was absolutely at a loss. Nothing was working. Nothing was fine! He rubbed his face wildly.

 _What good did the tears do now_ , he wanted to shout.

The warlock stood up, his nerves a wreck, his body trembling.

“Now you listen to me!” He shouted at his younger boyfriend, his voice cracked from the tension.

Alec stared at him, surprised at this unusual tone.

“Alec…” Magnus began, in a much softer tone. “You don’t understand… The day that you fought that demon, he set a curse on you, darling.”

Alec scoffed in derision and leant back on the couch, smirking.

“Listen to me, please!” Magnus knelt and took his boyfriend’ hands and was truly shocked when he felt how cold they were. “Cat and I have been looking everywhere these past days. We know now everything that is to know about Malphas. Yes, that’s the demon’s name. And there was only a chance, only one potion that could have reversed the effect of the curse.”

Alec listened to him, for the first time in days, with a bewildered expression on his face. Maybe it was just curiosity. Whatever it was, Magnus kept the contact, sending little bouts of warmth to the cold hands of his boyfriend.

“You just drank it, love.”

Alec glanced towards the cocktail cup on the table. Magnus nodded.

“But it didn’t work.” The warlock’s eyes began watering again. “That cold that you feel all the time? It’s the curse getting to your heart. That’s why you can’t feel the love that I know you feel for me, darling. That’s why you snap at your sister and your parabatai when they cross you. You, the most supportive, caring of people.” He sniffed but didn’t want to break the contact to get a tissue.

He cleaned his nose magically though.

“When the cold reaches your brain, we will lose you forever.” He kept explaining.

Alec frowned.

“Lose me? But I’m still here… You’re blabbering nonsense, Magnus.” He sounded unsure, however. His thumbs rubbed Magnus’ hand, unawares.

Magnus closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Please fight back, Alexander. Don’t leave me. Not yet. Not like this. Fight!” He whispered.

The warlock looked back at his shadowhunter, who was staring at him, disconcerted.

“Fight… what? I don’t understand… A curse? That’s…” Alec shuddered in cold, taking his hands away to wrap his arms around himself. “Is this what you mean? This weird coldness I’m feeling is because I’ve been cursed?”

Magnus evaluate the risks. There was a good chance that Alec would reject him.

But he had to try anyway. He leant forward, trying to put his arms around his boyfriend.

Alec did push him back with contempt.

“You… you just tricked me into drink some stuff that is making me sick.” He shouted at his boyfriend. “I was perfectly fine until you made me have that fucking cocktail… I would be less cold in the Institute.” He got up to his feet, walking to the main door, clearly intent on leaving.

Magnus stood up behind him.

“You are not going anywhere, Alexander.” He affirmed.

“No? What are you going to do?” Alec said with arrogance, while putting his jacket on. “Freeze me with your magic?”

Magnus made his mind.

“Exactly that, my dear.”

He moved his arms, creating a stormy mass of light inside them that was sent towards the cursed shadowhunter.

Alec roared in anger and tried to get rid of the shining cloud, but to no avail.

Then Magnus sent him sitting on the couch again, like a rigid, furious puppet.

“You know that, in normal circumstances, I would never force myself on you, in any possible way, Alexander.” He said, in the manner of an apology, but firmly.

“Let me go!” Alec roared, his whole body almost paralyzed.

Magnus stood in front of him, his face utterly grave.

“Cat says that if the potion reaches to your heart when it has been completely frozen, the counter-spell will bounce back and hit whatever it finds on its way, setting it on fire. But what she didn’t tell me is that that fire can bounce back again towards the cold heart, melting it.”

Alec looked at him with a snarl on his face, his whole body trembling with icy ire despite the magical ties.

“I know she means well. She doesn’t want to lose me. But if me in flames means that you can be cured, my love…” He sighed, but straightened his shoulders, “then let it be so.”

The godfather’s clock on the farthest wall began to mark the midnight hour, startling the warlock. Magnus looked at the two hands on the round face, signaling the fatal hour, and sighed. There wouldn’t be a turning point for him, if he went against Cat’s wishes.

But he wouldn’t let Alexander die.

He climbed onto his boyfriend’s lap, wrapping himself around him like a living blanket, and hugged him tight.

“You won’t fight alone, Alexander. I’m here with you. Always.” He freed Alec’s forearms so they could move. “Hug me, Alexander. Share my body heat.”

Alec didn’t hug him back, though his growls stopped.

“I won’t…”

“Shhh, my dear. Let me warm you for a while.”

Magnus pressed his lips chastely to Alec’s, and tears began to flow from his unglamored again, freely, unstoppable.

Dammit, he had never cried as much in ages.

But the thought of losing Alec…

_His beautiful, caring Alexander._

The warlock began to pepper his boyfriend’s face with little kisses, trying to warm the cold, almost blue skin. He could feel his own body temperature rising quickly.

A red simmer began to surround him. It emanated from Magnus’ bones, minute hot spikes jabbing at his tissues while surging up to the surface, in search of their target.

It was almost painful.

He released the ties on the rest of Alec’s arms.

His boyfriend stood quiet for a moment, and Magnus was afraid that, at any moment, Alec would throw him away again.

But Alec’s arms loosened his rigid posture and slowly sneaked around the hot body over him. As if the heat coming from the warlock’s frame was a magnet for his hypothermic flesh.

“Magnus…”

“That’s it, Alexander.” Magnus hummed, his wet face pressed to his boyfriend’s face. “Let yourself be cared of.”

His young lover turned his face towards him, with closed eyes, and set his frozen lips to Magnus’ hot, tanned cheek.

Then those lips wandered about the rest of the warlock’s face, seeking the heat, wetting themselves with the tears that couldn’t stop falling.

Alec licked his lips, then kept pressing them all over Magnus’ humid cheeks, his nose, his chin, while all his frozen body trembled in the warlock’s heated arms, obliviously drinking his lover’s tears while his heart began to beat with new vigor.

In the air around them, the red mist began to invade the blue mist over Alec.

 “Magnus…”

“Yes, darling?” The older man’s voice mused in Alec’s ear, still anguished, already weaker.

 “Are you crying because of me?”

Magnus leant back a bit to look Alec in the eyes, his own showing his warlock mark in full force. He spoke, his speech clear but infinitely sad.

“Yes. Alexander. I’m crying because, as powerful as I am, I’m unable to save you. I would go to my father again, I would give him my powers again, I would give myself to him, just to get you back. But that door is closed now, and I can’t reach him anymore. So I’m losing you, and I can’t bear the thought of living without you. Or what’s worse, of living knowing that you are not you, but that frigid being you are turning into.”

Magnus felt a cramp in his belly, the red mist around him fierier than ever, but he tried not to show the pain. He was beginning to feel sick with his own heat.

The potion was bouncing back, as Cat had predicted.

The red mist around him grew in size, its hue stronger. Wherever it touched a shred of the blue mist that plagued Alec, it turned its blue tonality into another more purple.

Magnus felt his strength vanishing quickly.

But Alec was responding, and that was all that mattered.

Even though he, Magnus, would end up consumed by the fire that saved his lover.

The warlock only hoped that he would last long enough for Alec to recover.

He slumped in Alec’s arms.

“Magnus...”

Alec looked at him. He looked at him as if he had been years without seeing him.

Magnus’ eyes swollen, his lips white from biting them to hide the pain in his body, his face pale from the loss of body heat.

He had never looked more beautiful to Alec.

“But I don’t feel cold anymore.” He simply said.

It was true. The cold was fading. The blue mist had become a light violet cloud that was starting to vanish.

Magnus blinked his tears away.

“You don’t?”

Alec moved his head, and looked at their bodies, so close yet so far.

And, as if a veil had lifted from his eyes, it all became much transparent.

“What have I done?” He mused in disbelief. He looked up, terrorized, and saw the destruction he had caused at the Christmas decoration. Then he looked at his boyfriend again, horrified. “What have I done to you, Magnus? What have I done to everybody?”

Magnus’ heart leaped inside his chest, full of hope. He cupped Alec’s jaw with his trembling, scorching hot hands.

“Are you with me, Alexander?” He dared ask. “Is it really you?”

Alec’ face was contorted with disgust for himself.

“I wronged you. I mistreated you! How could I…?”

“Shhh! It wasn’t you, my love! It was the curse!” Magnus was exhilarated, his energy felt renewed, the intense heat receding.

He sagged, wasted, on Alec’s arms. His face had the color of ashes, his limbs weighted a ton. He felt his last drops of strength slipping away.

_But everything was fine, because Alexander was back._

“Magnus! What’s happening?”

The warlock sighed, his head resting on his boyfriend’s now warm chest.

“We fought a great demon, and now it’s time to pay a price.” He mused. “I’m happy that I could stay strong until the end though.”

“The end? No!” The shadowhunter cried, holding him. “No, Magnus! What have you done? Please, no! Don’t leave me now!”

“It’s ok, my dear.” The warlock smiled faintly at him, “You’re ok. That’s all that matter. You’re ok.”

Everything seemed crystal clear to Alec then. He fumbled for his stele, on the back pocket of his trousers as usual, careful not to dislodge Magnus, and with some effort, activated his stamina rune.

“Magnus. You’re right. I’m fine now.” He stated firmly, cupping the warlock’s chin with his big hands. “So I’ll do this again. For you, I’d do this whenever you need it.”

He grabbed one of Magnus’ limp hands and stared into Magnus’ gorgeous cat eyes.

“Use me. Take what you need. Get your power back.”

Magnus gazed at him in awe.

Just like that first time they shared their strength.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Then he locked eyes with the man he loved.

The flow of energy felt like an electric shock, making them jump, but not enough as to break their stare. Alec smiled at him encouragingly.

_His wonderful Alexander was back._

 

__

 

The red mist began to disperse as well, along with the violet cloud.

Bit by bit, Magnus regained his vigor. Maybe there would be some hours till he would be capable of doing big magic again, but he maybe the price wouldn’t take the highest toll on him this time.

Eventually, Magnus disconnected the flow.

“You’re crazy, Alexander.” He chided his boyfriend, but without any real heat behind his words. “You’re just out from one of the biggest dangers I’ve ever met, and now you risk your health…”

“Stop there.” Alec hushed him, one of his long finger flying to Magnus’ mouth. “There was nothing to risk. You saved me, and I saved you.”

 “But…”

“No buts.” Alec cut him short, his eyes intense and fiery. “We did it together. Because together we are stronger. And if you are still worried about me, let me tell you…”

 Magnus silenced him with a passionate kiss.

And Alec responded to the kiss the only way he knew. The only way he could.

He kissed Magnus back giving him everything he had.

Everything that he hadn’t given him lately.

Everything he hadn’t realized he was missing.

His hands roamed around the warlock’s warm body as if he could not have enough of his touch. Hungrily and avidly.

They had been living and sleeping together for days without barely any contact.

He, Alec, had been starving, and he hadn’t even noticed.

Alec needed to make it up to Magnus.

He nipped at Magnus’ earlobe delicately, just the way his boyfriend liked, and elicited a lovely sigh from his boyfriend.

“Magnus. Bed.”

The warlock stopped mussing Alec’s hair and leant back to look at him.

“Alexander, you’ve just got ridden of one of the worse curses that a man can be subjected to. That demon’s powers are much stronger than you imagine, my dear. He’s capable of…”

“You’ll tell me about that tomorrow.” Alec took his lover’s hand and kissed its palm. “Now I just need to be in bed with you. Resting, holding you, loving you, whatever. But with you.”

He cleared his throat, suddenly ashamed of his demanding needs.

“Please?” He gave the older man the puppy eyes.

Magnus’ cascade of happy laugh was music for his ears.

“I guess that for you it is as if a dam has just been broken.”

“Damn right.” Alec grinned. Then suddenly got serious, remembering. “My family! They left so worried! Magnus, they should know that I’m ok.”

Magnus smirked and wriggled his fingers. Alec’s phone appeared in his hand, apparently dialing already.

Maryse’s tear-stricken face showed up on screen, via Skype.

“Magnus! What’s happened? Is Alec…?”

Alec’s grin  welcomed her.

“Mom! I’m ok! Magnus did it! He just… I don’t know what he did but the curse is gone!”

“Alec…” Maryse, watching his smiling, stuttering son, burst in tears again. But this time, they were happy tears. “Alec, my boy!”

“Mom, I’m so sorry. I know it was the demon’s spell, but I would never hurt you, nor anyone, like I did on purpose.” Alec, seeing his mother so emotional, had to swallow hard.” I love you so much!”

“And I love you, my son. And Magnus. Can you tell him that I love him too? Where is he, by the way?”

Magnus leant into Alec’s shoulder so his face would show on the screen.

“I’m here, Maryse. He’s all right now. But this big guy needs to go to sleep soon, because these last days he has had no real rest.”

“Nor have you, I’m sure.” Maryse added, delicately using a tissue on his nose.

Magnus shrugged nonchalantly, a soft smile on his lips.

“Alec is the one who needs it the most.” He only said. “And I’ll make sure that he gets what he needs, don’t worry.”

Maryse looked at him, earnestly.

”I know you will. Now I’ll go to tell Izzy and Jace. They’re worried sick!”

Alec rubbed his eyes, erasing the threat of an impending breakdown.

“Will you come tomorrow, mom?” He said in a coarse voice.

“Of course, Alec. Magnus?” She checked on his son’s boyfriend.

“Maryse, I have more food in the fridge that I could hope to eat on my own. You’d all better come here and eat it all, please. And see for yourselves that Alec is still the same adorable, most huggable Shadowhunter that I’ve ever met.”

Alec frowned at him.

“I’m not… that.” He protested.

“What? Huggable? Of course you are, darling! Everybody likes hugging you, haven’t you noticed?”

Alec blinked in confusion.

“Really?”

A chuckle came out of the screen, and they both looked at a laughing Maryse.

“Oh, guys! I’m leaving you now. Good night, my dears.”

“Good night, mom!”

“And Magnus…”

“Yes, Maryse?”

She cleared her throat and smiled warmly at the warlock.

“Thank you for loving my boy.”

Now it was Magnus’ turn to swallow hard.

“It is and always be my pleasure, Maryse. Good night.”

The call got disconnected, and the couple stayed silent for some seconds, each of them immersed in their own thoughts.

“I almost lost them too.” Alec mused.

“But you haven’t.”

The young warrior shook his head.

“We Shadowhunters are used to death. We know we all can die while doing our work, our duty. But this… losing someone you love by losing their memories and affection… it’s even worse than death.”

Magnus could but nod in agreement. He stroked his slightly bearded boyfriend’s cheek.

“Let’s live the present, Alexander. We are well and alive, and we still have many years to enjoy together.”

Alec smiled softly and nodded happily.

“And thank you for making my mom laugh, Magnus.”

The warlock lifted an eyebrow.

“Did I do that?”

His boyfriend huffed.

“All that silly stuff about being huggable and that… She found that so funny that couldn’t but laugh.”

“Oh? But you are truly huggable, Alexander!” And as if to show him, Magnus climbed onto Alec’s lap again and threw his arms around the Shadowhunter’s wide shoulders. “Mmm. See? You’re so comfy and warm…”

“You are just saying that because you want to take me to bed.”

Magnus shrugged, grinning, and didn’t deny it.

“Just a moment ago, _you_ were the one wanting to take me to bed, if I remember right.”

Alec grinned too and pecked him on the lips.

“You and a bed? Anytime, Magnus. Anytime.”

“Then let’s get you in there!”

The warlock chuckled before he portalled them to their bed, panting heavily then, as even that short distance tired him.

Alec fell over his boyfriend, laughing freely, sincerely, as he used to do before.

“Magnus.” He needed to say something but couldn’t stop kissing his marvelous boyfriend.” How did it work? I mean…“ _Kiss._ ” I remember seeing you watch me drink that disgusting beverage… “ _Kiss_.”And it wasn’t working... “ _Kiss_.”Then you held me tight… “ _Kiss.”_ And you cried…” _Kiss.”_ And then I could feel again. I could feel _you!_ ”

Magnus, still hugging him tight, thought about it for a moment.

It had been the tears, Magnus realized eventually. Real tears from a really cracked heart’s lover, not forced drops from irritating vapors.

Tears of love and care and pain.

The same tears that, by melting the ice walls, stopped Magnus from bursting into real flames, apparently.

Ah, magic.

Maybe the midnight helped, since everybody knows that the midnight hour is magical.

And the night before Christmas is even more magical, as any kid would assure.

So that’s what he told Alec. The truth, as they always told each other now.

Alec reflected on this, one of his hands playing with Magnus’ magenta-tipped fringe, completely aware that he had been about to lose Magnus for good, even though the warlock had omitted that part.

He was painfully aware that Magnus had been about to give his own life for him.

Magnus, the most selfless and thoughtless of beings.

Who cared who his father was. Magnus didn’t have an ounce of evil blood in his body.

_His wonderful, beautiful Magnus._

Then Alec looked down at his boyfriend under him, only to find the most loving gaze he had ever seen.

Alec had never felt so adored.

“Magnus, I… I don’t want to lose you again. Never.” He said, probably in the most serious tone he had ever used.

“I don’t want to lose you either, Alexander.” The warlock smiled softly.

“I want to spend the rest of my life thanking you for what you just did to me.”

“You don’t need…”

“It’s not that I need to do it.” Alec cut him off, his voice grave and tender. “I want to do it. I want to adore you every day of my life. And I want the world to know it.”

Magnus frowned, dumbfounded.

“Whatever do you mean, darling?”

“I mean”, Alec bent his head to kiss his warlock, “that whenever you are ready, whenever you feel like, whenever you want me, I’ll take you to an altar and make you my husband, in front of anyone willing to watch. And I promise you that I would never, ever, leave you again.” He kissed him again, sealing his vow.

Magnus lost his voice, and his unglamored eyes filled with tears again. Alec, smiling gently, drank those tears too.

Eventually, he scooted to the bedside table and got a little box out of its upper drawer, with his absolutely baffled warlock watching him in wonder. Then Alec kneeled on the bed, between Magnus’ legs, and offered the box to him.

Magnus sat straight, speechless with emotion. He opened the box, to find the two most delicate, perfect, similar rings inside. Yellow gold and white gold interweaved around their surface.

“Because you are gold, and I am silver, as you once told me. As the golds are entwined here, so our lives are as well.” Alec felt the need to explain, suddenly bashful.

Magnus swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Alexander…”

“You don’t need to say anything yet.” Alec told him, running his fingers over the beloved face of his boyfriend. “I just wanted you to know how I feel. I can wait. I’m not going anywhere.”

Magnus jumped to his arms, kissing his brand-newly recovered boyfriend as if he couldn’t stop himself. He wrapped his legs around Alec’s waist, so he could touch Alec as much as he was able to.

They stayed like that, staring into each other’s eyes, for a long time. Feeling their mutual heat, their lust a bit appeased.

Alec moved his legs so Magnus would accommodate better between his boyfriend’s legs, so they could hug even closer, and their groins brushed.

And there was it again.

The right kind of flames.

Magnus laughed happily, and Alec followed him.

Suddenly, floating in the air above their heads, a branch of mistletoe appeared, tantalizingly tinkling to catch their attention.

“What’s that?” Alec grinned, while a rain of glitter fell from the mistletoe over them both.

Magnus looked up and smiled widely.

“I guess there’s still some magic in the air. It wants to celebrate.”

Alec squinted at him, incapable of stop smiling.

“Love, Alexander.” Magnus explained, and hooked his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. “Love is alive. Love is magical. Love is the most powerful feeling. Love wants to celebrate. And more so in a day like this.”

“Oh? Are you sure that you didn’t just want to kiss me? Because you know, my stamina rune is still working.” The shadowhunter joked, strengthening their embrace.

_Yes. His wonderful Alexander was truly back!_

“If I want to kiss you, my love? Always.”

“Then let’s not disappoint the magic.” Alec whispered, and bent his head to get another kiss.

Magnus closed his eyes in bliss, and mused against his love’s lips. “Merry Christmas, Alexander.”

“Merry Christmas, Magnus.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... how did it go? Did you expect something like this? Too much angst and too little fluff? Did you like it? Hate it? Was it any good? Ok. I'll stop now.
> 
> I only wanted to repeat my thanks to any of you still reading. I don't have much that makes me happy these days, and your appreciation, loves, is greatly welcomed.
> 
> *wills herself to write the bonus chapter... just in case someone is interested* :-D

**Author's Note:**

> Hello? Anyone still there with me? If so... THANK YOU!
> 
> Any idea of what's happening and what's going to happen? I'd gladly discuss theories ;-)
> 
> Hold on tight for the next Thursday... The worst is still to come!
> 
> Come to shout at me here, or in Twitter (@myramerida) using the tag #CountDownMalecFic. 
> 
> You can also send love, because I need plenty of that too ;-)


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